Wow! Can you believe it's Halloween already! I'm so excited. I really wish I were home, you know, back in Gravesville with all my monster friends and family. I mean, you humans are kinda okay, but I miss my haunted castle, especially during the holidays. So, today I got a special treat for you. I want to introduce the author who wrote my first book Eve Hallows and the Book of Shrieks. I would've preferred a better title, something like Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever, but whatever. Anyway, the writer's name is Robert Gray.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: So are you a human?
RG: Um, yeah, as far as I know.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Me, too. And how's that working out for you, 'cause for me it's been a real pain?
RG: No complaints. Not to be rude, Eve, but I thought you brought me here to talk about my new book?
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: We'll get to that in a moment. Don't be so impatient.
RG: Sorry.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: You seem to know a lot about The Source. Have you ever worked for or had any connections with them?
RG: You're referring to the secret organization in the book? That's just made up stuff.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: You didn't answer the question. And stop rolling your eyes at me.
RG: No, I've never worked for The Source ... or had any connections with them.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Good. So you're just a regular human who writes stuff down? Sounds pretty boring.
RG: Actually, I enjoy writing stories. It's one of my favorite things to do. I've been doing it ever since I was about your age.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: You were fourteen once? I find that hard to believe. You look so ... old.
RG: Thanks.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: What else do you do besides write?
RG: I read a lot. And I like to watch movies, too. And I love spending time with my family. That's pretty much it.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Note to self: don't get old. Anyway, before my fans fall asleep, tell me little about our new book.
RG: It's called Eve Hallows and the Book of Shrieks and--
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: What made you choose that title? Why not something more exciting like, I don't know ... Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever?
RG: You're joking, right?
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: What?
RG: I'm not naming the book that. It's ridiculous. Besides, the title needs to draw in readers. You're title makes the book all about you.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: But the book is all about me.
RG: Yeah, but--
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Forget it. Let's move on to my next question: Can you guess what my favorite drink is?
RG: Huh? I thought we were going to talk about the book?
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Ugh! You're worse than my little ghoul brother Sam. Fine. Let's make this whole discussion about you.
RG: But isn't that why you invited me here: to talk about me and my new book.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Look, you seem like a nice human and all, but my fans want action, suspense, mystery. You gotta give me something to work with here.
RG: Okay, I'll try to do better. Fire away with a bold and exciting question.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Okay, last question--
RG: Last question? But you haven't asked me a real question yet.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Oh, my Jack. Are all humans like you?
RG: Is that your last question?
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: ...
RG: Hello?
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: ...
RG: Eve?
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: I don't appreciate your sarcasm. I mean really, how rude. You're worse than the brain-eating tourist that fill my graveyard during the holiday season.
RG: Did you just call me rude? And a zombie?
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: I think this interview is over.
RG: Can I have one more question?
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Nope.
RG: Please.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Okay, fine. But this is really the last one. My mom's calling me for dinner. Could you tell my fans what happens at the end of the book?
RG: I can't tell you the end of the book. If I do, no one will want to read it.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: You asked me to ask you about the book, and then when I do, you tell me you can't talk about it. You're a very strange human, you know that?
RG: But, Eve, you're not supposed to ask about the ending. I can say, though, that the ending is exciting--full of action, suspense, and mystery, if that helps?
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: And most importantly, it's full of me.
RG: Yes, there's that, too.
Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Well, that's all the time we have for today. Thanks for stopping by Roger--
RG: It's Robert, and thanks for having me. I'd like to say this has been fun, but it's been mostly, um, insulting.
So, there you have it, folks. An exclusive interview with author Robert Gray. Hope you all have a horrible Halloween and eat lots of candy.
Talk to you soon.
-Eve
