Wednesday, December 28, 2011

Free Book

My biographer, Robert What's His Name, wanted me to remind you that you can get a free ebook version of my story at The Amazon.  Not sure why anyone would want to go to a jungle to read my book, though. Whatever.
The offer expires on December 30th, so I guess you should get your plane tickets today, if you want to make it in time.

Tuesday, December 20, 2011

Hallows Family Christmas Tree

Presenting the Hallows Family Christmas Tree.  Isn't it perfectly horrible?

Wednesday, December 14, 2011

In Search of the Perfect Christmas Tree

I'm still trying to understand this whole Christmas thing (you humans and your strange celebrations.) My friend Carly Beth told me it's a day to exchange presents and eat lots of food, which is my sort of holiday! My mom is real excited about it, too, though she's not sure what kind of Christmas Tree we should put in our house. I found some ideas while searching  "the web" (that's like the cool way of saying internet, according to Carly Beth ... but it really doesn't seem like a web to me. It's not sticky, and a spider that could spin a web that big ... Wow! It would have to be huge!)

Anyway, here are the trees I found so far...

This one's kind of neat, but screams "gamer" to me.  I put this one up at my friend Steve's request, though.  He likes that sort of stuff.

I like this one a lot, but I'm pretty sure it wouldn't fit in my house.  And the smoke would probably get annoying.

A Christmas Tree made of chocolate sounds great ... in theory.  No way it would last until Christmas.  I don't care how big it is.

A neat idea, but Wolf would probably destroy it. He likes to eat paper products.  So does my little brother Sam, but that's another story.

I don't even know what this is.

Or this. (Hi, strange girl on the side.)

Ugh!  Boring!

Needs too much water.

Um, no.

Too rubbery.

My mom would like this one.

Am I supposed to stand on my head to look at it?  Way too much trouble.

A tree with legs?  That would never work.

Oh, well.  The search continues.  Hopefully we'll find something soon.


Saturday, December 3, 2011


Hey, all. Just wanted to remind you that I'll be working at Ghoulicious Pizza all day long.  If you're in the area, stop on by and GET ME OUT OF HERE!  There's nothing worse than serving pizza on a perfectly horrible day.

Free garlic knots for anyone who helps me escape.  I mean it!


Thursday, November 17, 2011

Black Friday

Wow, totally thought Black Friday was a smaller version of Halloween. My friend Carly Beth told me it was this day where normal humans turn into crazed beasts. Sounds fun!  But then I did some research and discovered it was a shopping day where things were on sale like super cheap. Hmm. So not what I was thinkingAnd why Friday? If I had to pick a day that was black, I'd certainly choose Saturday. Friday always seemed more of a dark purple with fire-red highlights to me. Anyway, gotta run. Dad needs me to work at Goulicious Pizza tonight. Ugh!


Friday, November 11, 2011

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

My new book came out today!

So exciting, my first book ever is out today! And it's all about ME! My biographer, Robert Something-Or-Other, has agreed to give away some free copies. Actually, I told him if he didn't, I'd send my mom over to, um, talk to him. She can be pretty persuasive. Anyway, he agreed. Yay!

So, here's the deal: This contest is open to all kids under the age of 120 (that's like fifteen in human years). Draw me a picture of anything spooky, and you'll receive a free book signed by my biographer.  Pretty easy, right?

Just send your pictures to evehallows1031[at]gmail[dot]com with your name, age and shipping info.

Because my biographer is complaining that this will cost him too much money, he asked if the contest could end December 1, 2011.  Fine, way to ruin the fun. I really need to find a new author. This guy is killing me.

And for the rest of you non-contest-liking humans, Books & Brimstone is now open and taking orders.

Talk to you soon.


Tuesday, November 1, 2011

What was under your Halloween Tree?

Hey, all.  Just got out of school.  Boring!  I mean, really, can't humans do something to make learning more fun?  Back in Gravesville, school was so much better.  Not to mention school was closed for like two weeks for Halloween vacation.  Here, they don't even close school down on Halloween!!!  That is so disturbing.

Anyway, that's an argument I plan to take up with whoever makes up holidays in schools. I mostly wanted to find out what presents everyone got for  Halloween, 'cause I'm nosey like that.

I made out like a vamp in a blood bank this Halloween.  Guess my parents felt bad about making me move to the human world and all that.  I got two Voodoo Baby Dolls, some new books, oh!, and a new set of tombstone pajamas that smell like cemetery flowers.  For dinner, Mom made all of my favorites: hot pumpkin, chocolate doughnuts drizzled in chocolate sauce, jellybean stew.  Then for desert we had pumpkin pie with a heaping scoop of chocolate ice cream on top.   It was so horrible!

How about you?  What did you do for Halloween this year?

Monday, October 31, 2011

Happy Halloween!

Wow! Can you believe it's Halloween already! I'm so excited. I really wish I were home, you know, back in Gravesville with all my monster friends and family. I mean, you humans are kinda okay, but I miss my haunted castle, especially during the holidays. So, today I got a special treat for you. I want to introduce the author who wrote my first book Eve Hallows and the Book of Shrieks. I would've preferred a better title, something like Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever, but whatever. Anyway, the writer's name is Robert Gray.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: So are you a human?
RG: Um, yeah, as far as I know.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever:  Me, too. And how's that working out for you, 'cause for me it's been a  real pain?
RG: No complaints. Not to be rude, Eve, but I thought you brought me here to talk about my new book?

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: We'll get to that in a moment. Don't be so impatient.
RG: Sorry.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: You seem to know a lot about The Source. Have you ever worked for or had any connections with them?
RG:  You're referring to the secret organization in the book? That's just made up stuff.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: You didn't answer the question. And stop rolling your eyes at me.
RG: No, I've never worked for The Source ... or had any connections with them.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Good. So you're just a regular human who writes stuff down? Sounds pretty boring.
RG:  Actually, I enjoy writing stories. It's one of my favorite things to do. I've been doing it ever since I was about your age.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: You were fourteen once? I find that hard to believe. You look so ... old.
RG: Thanks.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: What else do you do besides write?
RG:  I read a lot. And I like to watch movies, too. And I love spending time with my family. That's pretty much it.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl EverNote to self: don't get old.  Anyway, before my fans fall asleep, tell me little about our new book.
RG: It's called Eve Hallows and the Book of Shrieks and--

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: What made you choose that title? Why not something more exciting like, I don't know ...  Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever?
RG: You're joking, right?

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: What?
RG: I'm not naming the book that. It's ridiculous. Besides, the title needs to draw in readers. You're title makes the book all about you.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: But the book is all about me.
RG: Yeah, but--

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Forget it. Let's move on to my next question: Can you guess what my favorite drink is?
RG: Huh? I thought we were going to talk about the book?

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl EverUgh! You're worse than my little ghoul brother Sam. Fine. Let's make this whole discussion about you.
RG:  But isn't that why you invited me here: to talk about me and my new book.       

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Look, you seem like a nice human and all, but my fans want action, suspense, mystery. You gotta give me something to work with here.
RG: Okay, I'll try to do better. Fire away with a bold and exciting question.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever:  Okay, last question--
RG: Last question? But you haven't asked me a real question yet.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Oh, my Jack. Are all humans like you?
RG: Is that your last question?

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: ...
RG: Hello?

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: ...
RG: Eve?

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: I don't appreciate your sarcasm. I mean really, how rude. You're worse than the brain-eating tourist that fill my graveyard during the holiday season.
RG:  Did you just call me rude? And a zombie?

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: I think this interview is over.
RG: Can I have one more question?

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Nope.
RG: Please.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Okay, fine. But this is really the last one. My mom's calling me for dinner. Could you tell my fans what happens at the end of the book?
RG: I can't tell you the end of the book. If I do, no one will want to read it.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: You asked me to ask you about the book, and then when I do, you tell me you can't talk about it. You're a very strange human, you know that?
RG: But, Eve, you're not supposed to ask about the ending. I can say, though, that the ending is exciting--full of action, suspense, and mystery, if that helps?

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: And most importantly, it's full of me.
RG: Yes, there's that, too.

Eve Hallows, Coolest Girl Ever: Well, that's all the time we have for today. Thanks for stopping by Roger--
RG: It's Robert, and thanks for having me. I'd like to say this has been fun, but it's been mostly, um, insulting.

So, there you have it, folks. An exclusive interview with author Robert Gray. Hope you all have a horrible Halloween and eat lots of candy.

Talk to you soon.